NAUGHTY TREES

Wow! What a come-down for the Greenies. A new study has just shown that trees grow twice as fast in New York City, when compared with trees growing in the surrounding countryside. The Greenies have come up with the totally twisted explanation that pollution in cities cancels itself out but that the cities still pollute the countryside and stunt tree growth there. It’s logic only a Greenie could understand. If urban pollution cancels itself out, how is there any left to get into the countryside? Obviously pollution is in the eye of the beholder and what Greenies see as pollution, trees see as fertilizer. The higher carbon dioxide level in cities is the obvious explanation for the finding -- as carbon dioxide is a basic plant food -- but Greenies are committed to demonizing carbon dioxide as a “greenhouse” gas so admitting that it might be beneficial is to be avoided at all costs.

But regardless of what is responsible for the finding, the fact that trees THRIVE in a “polluted” urban environment strikes at the very heart of Greenie claims about the “threat” of pollution. If the only “threat” is that it makes greenery grow faster, shouldn’t Greenies be wanting MORE of that “pollution”?

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